Sunday, June 16, 2013

On Memorizing Scripture

Memorizing verses and chapters from the Bible is a discipline that is life-changing, mood-changing, perspective-changing, meditative, leads to new passage ways for knowledge, understanding and wisdom, and yet we rarely hear about these results, and are seldom encouraged to memorize.  Though I have memorized Bible verses since I was a Kindergartner (and can still recite some of those – thank you Mrs. Leach), I think the turning point for me to grasp its import was in college when one of my “required Bible class” professors, Dr. Thompson, gave us the option to be creative, and do something besides a term paper.  After talking it over, we decided I would memorize huge chunks of Scripture (and make a slide show to explain my world view.)  I wanted his guidance, and allowed him to choose the memory work.  He surprised me, and chose several passages from Exodus and Deuteronomy.  I think my understanding of the Jewish roots of Christianity started right there.  I have since memorized many of the prayers in the New Testament, and several Psalms.  All have hugely impacted me.  Yet, my track record is not good.  I am one of many, who knows what good to do, but doesn’t consistently do it.  I hope, during this chapter of my life, with the refreshed experience of seeing the difference God is making in my life with Psalm 33 as I am dealing with cancer, will kick start-me into a regular discipline of always memorizing.

Because of my present situation, I sometimes lie in bed and over-think.  The hormone-blocker med I receive leads to some insomnia, so as tired as I may be, I’ll just lie in bed as the processing begins.  I have found it successful to stop the dark or time-wasting thoughts immediately by simply reviewing a chapter just memorized.  Being now comfortable enough with the order of the words, I can begin focusing on the meaning, stopping at a certain verse, and thinking more deeply about it.  I’ll consider how certain conversations, or passages in a recently read book will support or explain a verse.  Suddenly I’m meditating about something that is true and right, and sensing the help and shield of God during such times.

There are so many ways to read and enjoy the Scripture.   Many of the good stories in the Bible have become songs, picture books, movies, and cartoons for kids; they are highlighted in Sunday School lessons and coloring books.  They are also used as outlines for sermons and Bible lessons.  Devotional books abound in stores and online, and most guide us to read a few verses and then a lesson follows.  This is all good.  Whether we read and meditate on our own, hear a Biblically based sermon, or watch a rendering of a book of the Bible, we are getting the Word into our hearts and minds.

Yet as I think about the Bible being the inspired Word of God it gives me the chills.  These are words that hold power, influence, truth, and life.  It seems to follow that these are words we would desire to know intimately, words we would want to memorize and hold closely.  In this way, we can take our time and befriend each word and concept.  We can compare and contrast more fluently to other concepts and ideas that are presented to us.  We now have a standard of truth.  But it reaches ever more deeply inside.  We begin grasping the hope that God has called us to; we begin to realize those things that Christ most highly values – and we begin to value the same – we begin, God willing, to emulate that which we are learning.

For me this process does not happen quickly.  It is happening slowly.  It happens with conversation, experiences, disappointments and ah-ha moments of clarity.  It happens after moments of stillness, listening to the thoughts God brings, tying concepts of truth into a tapestry of wisdom.

I have finished memorizing Psalm 33 and have begun Ephesians 1.  And though I am only 8 verses in, I am grasping a few key values.  “Grace” has shown up several times: “grace and peace to you,”  “to the praise of his glorious grace, freely given to us,” “the riches of God’s grace – lavished on us.” And interspersed his shown God’s desire that we are holy and blameless, forgiven.  But we all know that we are sinners, we do sin, and God could have a very long list on each of us.  I had just memorized in Psalm 33 that God considers everything I do, and his eyes are on those whose hope is in his unfailing love. I sometimes think of the long lists I could write up about my grievances; and the lists that could be written about me. Do I respond as God has responded to me?  Do I consider what others have done, yet continue to love?  Do I look for ways to extend forgiveness; do I lavish grace on others as it has been lavished on me?

This has to be real though – not just a nice Sunday School lesson.  I would be wrong to say “I forgive” when indeed I have not taken time to really consider another’s heart, my own heart, the forgiveness I’ve experienced,  and then get to a stage of realizing that I can move on and let go – at a real level, nothing stuffed.  And in this season, as I’m trying to clean up my inner life with “recall healing,” this memory work is a blessing, as its wisdom complements the concepts of remembering, forgiving, accepting, and transcending, then leaving behind the unneeded pain and consequences of my and other’s bad actions.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Feverish Thoughts from a Tired Mind

--> I’ve been running a fever, dealing with chills, and an achy body for two days.  If I am being examined by one of the “western” docs - he is befuddled and wondering if I have a hidden infection and the “alternative” docs, think this is all symptomatic of my body detoxing.  Either way they are showing great concern and care for me.

I have found life to be a little spiritually dry at this place.  Even though a guy comes on Sunday morning, and another gal leads something on Wednesday, it is like bringing in the T-Ball players for a Major League game.  These two have great hearts, but they are not speaking to my needs.  So I went over to Oasis of Hope, the clinic where I had originally planned on staying.  I wandered through the halls until I found the patients, got to know a couple of them, and then asked about the spiritual climate there.  What they shared was so encouraging that I have returned for the 10 AM worship time and intend on going to their Sunday service. I love how God provides.  (I’ve only been able to go once because this fever has slowed me down.) Another nice thing will be that an Orphanage nearby will come and pick some of us up on Sunday so we can get a tour and the kids can pray for us.  (They always need food.  So if you see this before Saturday, try to contact my brother Steve or my friend Marta so that they can bring the food up when they visit on Saturday/Sunday.)

There are those things that I will miss when I leave here, and those things that I will not miss.

I will miss;
*A daily view of the ocean, walks on the boardwalk, watching dolphins and sea lions.
*New friends made here, great healing conversations, Canasta games (yes Sundins, let’s continue in Whittier – though I think it will be a game of three, with Dave adding comic relief.)
*Someone doing my laundry each day, cleaning my room, making my bed, cooking all my meals, making all my drinks.
*Diligence of doctors and nurses to make sure I complete all of my treatments.  (I chose not to do the Full Body Hyperthermia today since I’m already running a fever.  I actually had to sign off on a paper that I changed my protocol!)
*The amazing state-of-the-art biological dentistry here at “Mexico” costs.  Incredible.  I am coming back!
*An avocado almost everyday!  Yum.

I will not miss:
*The loud motorcycles screaming up and down the street in the wee hours of the morning; car horns going off for minutes at a time when I’m trying to sleep.
*Green drinks –  I am getting my fill of them, and I suppose I need to keep making and drinking them when I get home.  Really tired of the 4 glasses a day.
*Having my vitals taken 4 or 5 times a day.
*Undressing and dressing so many times each day for the treatments.
*Having so many conversations with “cancer” as the main topic.
*The pain I feel for staff that work such long hours here.  It seems so wrong, especially when there are little kids at home who must never see their moms and dads.
*Long days with few breaks.  I think when I get home I will sleep for three days straight.
*Missing my husband, kids, home, church, neighbors, chicken, bed.  Two weeks is the optimum amount of time for me to be away.  Three weeks is tough.
*Throwing used toilet paper into trashcans rather than toilet. (I am a spoiled American.)

Friday, June 7, 2013

A Day in the Life


I sure have not blogged as much as I thought I would from Mexico.  I am really quite busy with all the treatments.  I take walks each day, to get a break from the routine, but also to enjoy the ocean and the neighborhood.  Meal times are always enjoyable with the other patients - so that is three hours of eating/socializing, just with that.  So here is what my day looks like with treatments:

Wake up and go into sauna (25 min) or hyperthermia bed (45 min).  These places are about 110 degrees and I end up with about 101.5 degrees body temperature.  This serves to help me sweat out toxins.


Then I have breakfast, take a walk on the boardwalk, and come back to start infusions.  I get Vitamin C, (2 hours) Calcium (1 hour), Double Helix Water (30 min), Poly MVA (30 min), Laetrile (1 hour).   
http://www.hope4cancer.com/hope4cancer-treatments/featured-therapies/poly-mva.html  This page also has links to all the other infusions that I am receiving.




While receiving the infusions I will start some of my other treatments –

Indiba (30 min)– this applies heat right in the area of cancer – helps to kill it.





Ondamed  (30 min)– this is an electro magnetic type treatment that helps reset my lymphatic system and immune system.
I forgot to get a picture.  Picture me with an antennae type thing hanging on my neck, and a  large combed pad on my back.

Photo-Sono Dynamic Therapy.  On my first night I took an oral/sublingual substance that took 24 hours to reach the cancer and stay there – the following therapies trigger that substance to kill cancer.
This is actually 3 steps:
Laser light (30 min)  First picture is the light, and it goes against my skin, as shown in second picture.



Full Spectrum Light  (1 hour)



And Ultra sound. (25 min) The device below is used in areas of cancer.  This can be done with a gel or in a bathtub.



I stay 30 minutes under a Near Infra-Red light each day.


I also take 2 or 3 walks of one to two miles each day.




We are tracked down and given 4 glasses of green juice, 1 glass of red juice, a plate of nuts and a tall glass of coconut water each day.




Vitals are taken 4 times a day.  My oxygen level has been staying high at 98 - 99%.
 


Meal time is a nice time to catch up with all the patients.



The treatment I am most looking forward to is called Recall Therapy.  This will happen next week.  I have been given several sheets of questions to fill out in regards to difficult times or traumas I have experienced.  The goal is to find those things that I have buried, rather than dealt with.  The premise is that when cancer patients deal with these things their healing process is accelerated.  We have heard of some amazing stories of healing as a result of this process.  The anticipation of this has added new dimensions of conversations with other patients.  We are all ready to go deep and to get well, not just of cancer, but in our inner self.

I have been feeling pretty good.  I have even less pain than when I first arrived.  My energy is good.  Socially - I have been glad to have one of my daughters with me; even though there are developing friendships here, it's just nice to have some comfort from home.  It makes me feel more whole.

Thanks again for your prayers.  I also want to thank so many that have helped financially.  I want to thank everyone personally, and I eventually will.  If I haven't yet sent you a greeting, please know that I am so appreciative and I will.  The therapy here is definitely worth the high cost.  The care given and research to back up all the treatments is very impressive.  They will send me home with treatments for one month.  They also suggest many supplements that can cost up to $400 a month; but they will help me figure out which ones are absolutely necessary.  I do want to stay diligent in fighting the cancer, but likewise I don't want treatments to take over my life once I get this back under control.  I am determined that cancer not be my "life."