Saturday Prayer Time

What a whirlwind of meetings and an abundance of information these days.  My house is a mess, I’m barely home; my brain and heart are full; now I must digest and sort out, and be still and know God, and allow Him to guide, (and wave a magic wand to clean this house.)

One thing is certain, that with all this prayer, and meetings with doctors and  interviews with cancer patients in Mexico, I have shed my aura of “I am going to die soon,” and feel rather “I am going to live.  I am going to beat this cancer.  God is bringing healing!”  I am not out of touch with reality, but rather, am more fully embracing the truth that no disease or statistic or doctor is going to tell me when I will die.  I am alive right now, and I don’t need to embrace any thought of death, any more than the rest of us who could be in a car accident and die tomorrow.  How sorrowful if we always grieved what might be, rather than live and love what we have right now.

We had an awesome prayer time last Saturday, and I want to take time to consider the spiritual aspect, and then later I’ll write to help me process the medical side.  On Saturday three of us were prayed for; each getting about an hour of focused attention; first for Nancy, for healing from MS, then me, and afterwards for Sandy, for healing of ALS.

There are five things that stood out during the prayers for me; healing, nature, bad, dancing, and Hezekiah.  Of course the “prayer warriors” asked for healing.  They did not beg, but simply asked, as they anointed me with oil.  Often involved with intensive times of prayer is the listening aspect, which brings “words of knowledge” or things people would not necessarily know if God had not brought it to mind.  Two of the people praying for me, Brandon and Judy, had never met me, and only knew I was dealing with stage 4 cancer.  These “words” can be relevant to healing, not just of the body, but to the whole person.

One of the first things Brandon mentioned, after listening to God, was that he sensed I loved nature, and that this was very pleasing to God.  We kind of laughed over some imagery of the Jolly Green Giant, or the scene from Hidden Valley commercials, where he “saw” me dressed in green and walking out of the hills into a beautiful green, lush valley.  The main idea was “Diana does well in nature.  She loves God’s creation. This is not just a comfortable place, but a joyful place.  And it brings God pleasure that she is living out this part of the character He built into her.”

This imagery was right on.  I love being in nature.  I feel close to God.  I love his creation.  I am enlivened.  My ears are attuned to each bird song, to the sound of air as it courses through the feathers of a crow flying by, to the beauty of a shadow cast by a small pebble early in the morning.  So, bingo!   So though this may not have been directly related to healing, it alerted me that God was speaking, and sharing his secrets.

 I think it was Judy who saw a couple of things.  (I hope I don’t totally fracture her actual words; I’ve waited too long to write it all down.)  She felt perhaps that I am not allowing the “bad” to be spoken.  That perhaps I have too much of a “good Christian girl mentality” and hold back anger or disappointments.  She encouraged me to let it rip.  God does not worry about me messing up his reputation. 

I found this word to be interesting, because it fits with some other recent conversations and thoughts.  A friend told me recently I needed to “unload more often.”  Someone at the first prayer meeting encouraged me in a similar way, to find those things that are causing unrest, stress, anxiety, and to examine and get rid of them.  The oncologist in Mexico said that some of their therapy includes  “Recall Therapy” to help discover and get rid of pain that may have triggered this cancer.  And the doctor we saw yesterday said something similar.  What’s interesting is that I am a pretty laid back person.  I am not easily bothered – nor stressed, though I have my moments.  Mostly, things just roll off me… and if they don’t, I work it out so I don’t have to “vomit” all over someone – I allow them to be a jerk – ‘cus that’s what they’re good at – or maybe they’ve had a tough day, or a tough life. I love showing grace.  Grace is attractive and freeing. 

Also, as I watch some people, who don’t hold back, but are going off on people all too often, I find it ugly and think it causes pain for even more people – I hate their response. I don’t want to become like those who are always looking out for themselves and not caring about the repercussions they cause. Neither do I want to hold disease in my body, if indeed that is what I’m doing.  So, I guess what I’m saying, is that I may have to find a balance. So, I’ve signed up for counseling!  Maybe I can get some guidance in ways to process things or “get rid of the bad” in a healthy way.

One of the prayer warriors saw me needing to, or actually involved in “flagrant praise, worship and dancing.”  “Dancing” is a fun theme, and it was mentioned several times during the prayer hour.  There has to be a sense of freedom and abandon in order for one to dance flagrantly. I love that image.  Free me up Lord! (And yes, I love to dance.)

This too, struck chords in my heart.  I have been inquiring of the LORD about worship.  I have been stuck too long in “head” worship, and I miss my days of free “heart” worship.  I accepted this prayer as a blessing from God.  Watch out.  You just might see me dancing across the top of the Whittier Hills.  Seth just put together a little youtube video on his fund raising page.  He used a song by David Wilcox, and part of the lyrics are “She’s just dancing...” Seth did not know about the details of the prayer time.  See how God works!

One of the last people who prayed had arrived late, and has had little contact with me.  Yet she said that God spoke to her on the drive to Whittier about the story of Hezekiah, who after he was told he would die, asked God for more years.  This was part of my early story.  Using the Hezekiah example, I have asked God for twenty more years.  I loved the confirmation she brought/ God brought.

Since Saturday, I have experienced less pain.  I have not needed to take as many Tylenol to get through the day or night.  I have also had more energy, and have not needed as many naps.  Wouldn't it be so cool if a progressive healing is taking place? Will you all dance with me when this journey is over! I continue to say, nevertheless, my hope is in the unfailing love of the LORD.  His eyes are watching everything; he considers what I do, he knows my heart, and none of this changes whether I have cancer or not.