Tuesday, February 7, 2012

The Unimportance of Self

Okay.  It has been over a month.  My goal was to post once a week.  I have been tripping over this piece for several weeks.  The wisp of wind that is pushing me off this cliff is one of those confusing sets of verses in the Bible where Jesus is quoted  (Luke 9:50) as saying: 
Whoever is not against you is for you. 
Then later (Luke 11:23):
He who is not with me is against me; he who does not gather with me, scatters. 

So what is it? For me or against me?

I sign up to volunteer and am told, “You cannot volunteer here unless you agree to 10 hours a week.”  Since I only have 5 hours available, I find a friend to split the duty with me.  But the supervisor tells me “You can’t do it that way, you have to do 10 hours, and so does your friend.” I wonder, “What do you have against me? Wouldn’t you rather have 10 hours of work from us and save yourself that many hours of labor?”  I am experiencing rejection.

On other occasions, I have been told I was not needed. Or I hear of “everyone” going somewhere that I consider special or fun – and yet I was not welcomed or invited.  Small potatoes?  Yet these little rejections translate to my heart that I am unwanted, undesired.

I was stewing over this as I drove home, on the 605 Freeway, a few months ago, and boom, sensed God say – “So you think you are god to these people?  You think that every decision and thought is centered around you?”  True!  What makes me think that they are plotting or scheming against me?  I am not the center of their life. They do not always have me on their brain or the throne of their life – as I had imagined.

Every time I put myself in a “god” position I feel alienated.  Jesus said:  Whoever is not against you is for you.  (In this situation Jesus was correcting John who complained about people serving God, just not in company with Jesus and his disciples.) My “hurters” are often people who serve God.  This fact at first added to my confusion.  Now God is showing me that the “real” response He desires from me is to realize, as Jesus explained, that no one is against me! These people are all living for God (like the ones John complained about) – so, as Jesus said,  “They are for you!”  They are out there, serving God, and if asked would say, “Go for it, serve God.  Bless you!”

The Holy Spirit brings honesty into a situation, so I refreshingly conceded that those around me are not  basing their decisions on me or living out a desire to hurt me, or to stop me.  “I” was not even in the equation of their decision-making.  At worst, all their decisions are about themselves. (It is a bit deflating to think that they were not thinking about me.  It is a “deflating” that I need to embrace – for it brings me into reality.)

Such introspection leads me to healthier relationships – if it can be can be done with the Holy Spirit of God, our counselor, keeping everything honest. We really must allow Him to be the referee.  Without Him, everything is seen purely from our self-centered view.  How else?

He also says: He who is not with me is against me.  This is not a direct opposite of the previous verse. The key word here is “me.”  Jesus is referring to himself.  This verse only makes sense to me, in juxtaposition to the previous verse (Whoever is not against you is for you.), if we realize that Jesus is here, talking about himself and his main antagonist, satan, who is against Jesus.   The “me” here is not the rest of us.  Simply stated, those who are not with Jesus are against Jesus and want to destroy what he is doing. 

Now in scenarios of “rejection” dealing with people who do not live for Jesus, I still must remember that I am not on the throne of their life. Neither is Jesus. “I did not get invited, so they are against me,” is not my line.  What I may just be sensing is their dislike or dis-ease of  Jesus.   "They are against me," is Jesus' line.

All these thoughts bring me at last to the concept of Grace.  Even without all these mental/spiritual gymnastics, I can extend grace.  I want grace extended to me.  How many times have I left someone out?  Overlooked an invitation to someone who was watching and wanted to be involved?  Did I single them out for rejection?  God forbid.  I was just clueless, or not listening to the Spirit, or maybe, just stuck, thinking about myself and my own agenda.  Yet I am in Christ, so I can say:  I am not against you, I am for you.  Watch out for satan, he is not with Jesus, he is against Jesus.  Satan will scatter, Jesus will gather.  Let’s extend grace, and listen to our counselor,  the Holy Spirit.
 

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